As a mom of three, entrepreneur, author, speaker, wife, housekeeper, dog mom of one and just all around "do-it-all-yourselfer," I find myself constantly looking for ways to become more efficient, more effective and to help me manage my juggle struggle
In December of 2019 I decided that if I wanted to be a super mom and super business woman all at once, I needed a better system for tracking all of my to-do's. Being a self-proclaimed super woman, I thought that the way to lower my stress was to keep trying to do "all the things," but to come up with a better way to keep tabs on everything.
I was in the midst of the holiday shopping season and quickly realizing how many people I had forgotten from my lists... how much food I still had to buy for family gatherings... how many projects needed wrapping up in my business before year-end... how many "chores" I had yet to do at my house to make it even a little presentable... (Where are my mom's at here? Anyone else feel that your children's life calling is to make a mess of the exact space you JUST cleaned? Ya, me too.)...
And that was when I found it. The so-called answer to my prayers.
A planner that not only let you lay out your day, but that had built in checklists to help you accomplish the million-and-one tasks that you set out to achieve.
There it was in black and white, the planner that actually had space to lay out your housework, your holiday shopping, your business tasks, your home tasks, EVERY. SINGLE. THING.
And let me tell you, I rocked that planner for a solid two weeks.
For those two weeks I was killing it at life.
But then I noticed something odd.
By using this uber organized planner that was meant to organize and enhance my life, I actually started feeling the polar opposite of what I was trying to feel.
Every single time that I didn't complete those built-in checklists I was suddenly feeling like a terrible mom, terrible wife, terrible business woman and ULTRA terrible housekeeper. I mean, if I didn't dust on Tuesday's like it said then when would I ever get to it? I was watching other women I know, love and respect post on their Insta pages their perfectly clean spaces and thriving businesses and I'm sitting here going I have literally been planning to vacuum for a solid week, yet it's still managed to evade me.
And that's when it dawned on me.
While this planner may be wonderful for some, for me, what I thought I wanted was actually counterproductive to what I really NEEDED in my life.
What I needed was to stop trying to be everything to everyone.
What I needed was to learn how to define my boundaries and stand by them.
What I needed was to better define my values so that I didn't get sucked in to things that really didn't serve me or my loved ones.
What I needed was to STOP doing so many things that really didn't matter!
For my over-achieving, people-pleasing sisters out there - I see you and I hear you.
I get it that what I'm about to suggest is so dang hard and that it takes time and practice to get it right.
I also understand that with motherhood comes a whole lot of unexpected new to-do's...
Clean up that entire box of spilled cereal? Sure!
Change two diapers in a row because one blow-out wasn't enough? Definitely.
Mop the floor twice because your three year old decides the dog, who is covered in mud, just NEEDED to come in and play? Bring it on!
What I'm about to say is not meant to discount reality, but rather to get you so damn focused on what is most important to you that the other "stuff" becomes really easy to say no to.
And that brings me to your "Not-To-Do List."
When you are an ultra-driven, highly active mama who has a bustling career, there is one thing that is going to save your sanity and that lies in the things you say no to.
Rather than adding yet another task to your never-ending to-do list, what would happen if you started allocating more time and attention to the list of things that you should actually quit doing? Or that simply do not serve you?
What if you were to build your life off of only focusing on your core values, the people who matter most, and the projects that bring you closer to your dream life?
What would happen if you stepped outside of the norm, of trying to be seen as the person who "does it all," but rather became the person who only does what REALLY matters?
What if you built a life that you can currently only dream of by actually doing LESS?!
That is why your "Not-To-Do List" is so important.
By focusing your attention on the things that are in line with your value system, that drive you towards the life of your dreams, that allows you to actually be present to your loved ones, you can literally shift the entire trajectory of your life.
Trust me... I am a living testament to this.
After trying so hard to use the planner I talked about above... the one that let me track all the things, all the time... I quickly realized that all I was doing was creating a little book of stress that every time I opened it made my heart race (not in that Magic Mike kind of way) and made my stomach physically hurt. It wasn't the planner's fault, it was my own for how I used it.
Once I made the commitment to get crystal clear on what I wanted most for my family and my business, the other stuff just didn't matter so much anymore.
Was it really necessary that I dusted every single Tuesday at 7pm?
Was it really important that the sheets get washed on the same rotation every week?
Did it really matter that I answer all 74 emails by 9am every day?
Did my kids REALLY need to do arts and crafts at 4pm every day because heaven forbid they don't have constant structure?
The answer is no.
Actually, the answer is abso-freaking-lutely not.
Don't kill yourself trying to fit some image that society has put on the perfect working mom.
Don't allow anyone to make you feel like you aren't doing enough because of some stupid checklist.
Don't let your over-achieving self lose sight of what is really important because "busy" is glorified.
Make the commitment to yourself that you are going to STOP trying to be and do everything to/for everyone.
Make the commitment that you are only going to do the things that are inside your value system and that bring you closer to the life of your dreams.
Download your FREE "Not-To-Do Checklist" today!